I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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