office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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