Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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