and you said cock pushups were impossible
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
