at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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