First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
