dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
