A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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