Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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