C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
