so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
