If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
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Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
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You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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