My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize