someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
