Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
