If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
