Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
