All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You ruined the universe
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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