the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
