whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
