Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
