You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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