i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize