That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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