Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize