yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Text me some of your sweat
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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