nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
