seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
