Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
