you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
