Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
