You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
