belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The adults are the big ones right?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
