So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
