I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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