i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I stole a fireplace last night.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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