it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
