theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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