Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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