You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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