I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
