Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
