Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
In America we eat man semen.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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