I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
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