I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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