My room smells like vodka and shame
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
