So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
