sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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