Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.