His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.