I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore