You work out of a Hotel?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
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there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
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Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction