Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.