Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
40s are totally the cure
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
