It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor