i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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