Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
