the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
