So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
