I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
