I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
