Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You were trust falling into bushes
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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