please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
