Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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