we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
COCAINE IS GR8
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
