And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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